It may be time to change therapists when the fit feels wrong after several sessions, progress has stalled, or a professional boundary has been crossed. About one in five adults ends psychotherapy early, and the strength of your bond with your therapist, called the therapeutic alliance, is one of the most consistent predictors of how therapy turns out. Raising the concern with your therapist first often repairs the relationship, and in Ontario you can withdraw consent and end or switch psychotherapy at any time without explaining why.
Last updated: September 2026
Doubting your therapist is uncomfortable. It is hard to tell whether the problem is the person, the process, or the simple fact that therapy is hard work. Only you can decide. But some patterns point fairly clearly one way or the other, and they are worth knowing.
Fit matters for more than comfort. Across 295 studies and more than 30,000 clients, the strength of the working relationship between client and therapist was one of the most consistent predictors of how therapy turned out, whatever type of therapy was used (Flückiger et al., 2018). If you cannot be open with the person across from you, their method matters much less. Our guide to how psychotherapy works explains why the relationship carries so much weight.
At Trillium, every therapist providing psychotherapy is a Registered Social Worker or Registered Psychotherapist. Clients are matched through a conversation about what they need, not assigned to whoever has an opening. You can see how matching works, and who is on the team, on our psychotherapy page. If you are still deciding whether to start with someone, our guide to questions to ask a therapist covers what to raise in a first session or free consultation.
If you're not sure what a good fit even looks like, our guide to the signs your therapist is a good fit describes what many people notice in the first few sessions.
Four situations can at times come up when people explain why they changed therapists.
Opening up to a stranger is awkward at first. The first two or three sessions are rarely a fair test. But if the awkwardness lasts well past that point, if you catch yourself editing what you say, or if you leave sessions feeling more alone than when you arrived, the two of you may simply not be a good match. Personalities do not always fit. That is a reason to change, not a failure and honestly, 'shopping for a therapist' maybe the better approach to finding the best fit for you long term.
The same issues will come up more than once, because you are working on patterns that have been part of your life for years. Repetition alone is not a warning sign. The warning sign is talking about the same things week after week with no sense that anything is shifting, and a therapist who cannot tell you how you would both recognize progress. Venting can help. But therapy should be shared work toward something, and you are allowed to ask what that something is.
It is common to uncover something in therapy that was not on the table when you started. Often times clients start therapy for an immediate need or feeling of high stress or anxiety etc, but when working on the root cause can shift into something deeper. Sometimes that new concern calls for specialized training, such as support for an eating disorder or trauma processing. Not every therapist is trained for every issue, and a good one will say so and help you find someone who is. Needing a different specialization is a reason to change therapists, not a judgment on the one you have. A good therapist often will recognize this disconnect before you and help you transition to a therapist skilled in this specialist approach with you.
Some conduct is never acceptable in therapy. Sexual behaviour, remarks, or physical intimacy between a therapist and a client is prohibited by Ontario's regulatory Colleges. For Registered Social Workers, that prohibition continues indefinitely after psychotherapy ends (OCSWSSW Principle VIII). Sharing your personal health information outside the narrow situations the law sets out is also a serious breach; our article on what confidentiality means in therapy explains where those lines sit. Other behaviour is less clear-cut but still worth taking seriously: a therapist who talks about their own life more than yours or pushes you toward decisions that do not feel right to you. Registered Social Workers and Registered Psychotherapists in Ontario are held to written standards of practice by their regulatory Colleges. Those standards exist to protect you, and you never need to stay in therapy where they are not being met.
Tell them first, if you feel safe doing so. Many people leave therapy without ever saying that something was not working. About one in five adults discontinues psychotherapy early, based on a meta-analysis of 669 studies covering 83,834 clients (Swift & Greenberg, 2012). Some of those endings are the right call. Many are a missed conversation.
Researchers call a strain in the working relationship a rupture, and repairing one is more than a polite gesture. When therapist and client worked through a rupture together, outcomes were moderately better than when it went unaddressed, in a 2018 meta-analysis of 11 studies and 1,314 clients (Eubanks et al., 2018). The conversation itself is often where the useful work happens.
A good therapist will actually welcome this feedback by getting a better understanding of you and what works best for you. Experienced therapists have a big 'toolbox' that they can work with and learning from you that its not currently working is a very useful cue to them to shift tools or approach. It does not need to be a big speech. A sentence as plain as "I don't feel like we're getting anywhere and I'd like to talk about that" gives a good therapist the chance to change course. It also gives you a clearer read on whether to stay. If you raise it and nothing changes, or if you do not feel safe raising it at all, that is your answer.
Thinking about a change but not sure where to start? In a free 20-minute matching consult, you can describe what has and hasn’t worked so far, and our intake team will suggest a Trillium therapist whose approach fits — with no pressure to book.
Book a free matching consultYou have the right to end therapy at any time without explaining why. Before you do, check two things. Sometimes the urge to leave is part of the work, not a sign it has failed.
First, has your discomfort changed suddenly after a good stretch, and you cannot say why? Therapy sometimes gets close to something painful, and wanting to avoid it is a natural response. Unless your therapist did something to cause the change, try saying "I've been feeling differently about coming here lately" and see what comes up. You never have to continue if you do not feel safe, whether or not you can explain why. But if you are unsure where the discomfort is coming from, your sessions are a reasonable place to find out.
Second, can you talk to your therapist about what you need? If so, you may be able to solve the problem together: a change of pace, a different approach, clearer goals. There is more than one style of therapy, and the approaches Trillium therapists commonly draw on are outlined on our psychotherapy page. Your therapist may also agree that a change makes sense, or that you are ready to finish. Ending well is a healthy way to close a therapy relationship. You are not dumping a friend. You are making a considered decision about your own care.
| Worth raising with your therapist first | Reasonable to change therapists |
|---|---|
| Sudden discomfort after a productive stretch, and you can’t say why | The awkwardness of not “clicking” persists after the first several sessions |
| You’re circling the same topics but haven’t yet told your therapist | You’ve raised the lack of progress and nothing has changed |
| You feel able to say what you need and be heard | Your concern now needs a specialization your therapist doesn’t have |
| — | Any inappropriate behaviour, including sexual contact or a breach of your privacy — you never need to stay |
Changing therapists is simpler than most people expect, and you do not need anyone's permission. A capable person can withdraw consent to treatment at any time (Health Care Consent Act, 1996, s. 14). That applies to psychotherapy the same way it applies to any other health care.
A few steps can make the switch smoother:
Whatever you decide, asking the question shows you are taking your own care seriously. That same instinct is what helps therapy work in the first place.
If you’ve read this far, you may already have a sense of what you need next. Reaching out doesn’t have to be a big step. A free 20-minute conversation with our intake team is a low-pressure way to talk through what hasn’t worked and get matched with a therapist whose approach fits you, with no commitment.
Book a Free ConsultationLearn more about psychotherapy at Trillium
Yes. Opening up to someone new feels awkward for most people, and the first two or three sessions are rarely a fair test of fit. It becomes a reason to change therapists when the discomfort lasts past several sessions, when you catch yourself editing what you say, or when you keep leaving feeling unheard. The client–therapist relationship is one of the most consistent predictors of how therapy turns out, so a poor fit that persists is worth acting on.
Should I tell my therapist I'm not making progress, or just leave?Tell them first if you feel safe doing so. Saying it plainly gives a good therapist the chance to adjust the approach or revisit your goals, and research on repairing strains in the therapy relationship links that conversation to better outcomes. If you raise it and nothing changes, or you do not feel safe raising it at all, you can end therapy at any time without explaining why.
What counts as inappropriate behaviour from a therapist in Ontario?Inappropriate behaviour includes sexual behaviour, remarks, and sharing your personal health information outside the narrow situations the law sets out. It also includes other breaches of the regulatory Colleges' standards of practice, such repeatedly blurring professional boundaries. Registered Social Workers and Registered Psychotherapists in Ontario are held to written standards by their regulatory Colleges, and you never need to stay in therapy where those lines are crossed.
What should I tell a new therapist about why I left the last one?Only what helps the next match. A sentence or two is enough: "I wanted more structure," "I needed more feedback," or "I need someone trained in trauma" tells a new therapist or an intake team exactly what to look for. You do not owe anyone the full story of the last relationship, and you do not need your previous therapist's permission to start somewhere new.
If you or someone you know needs support right now, help is available:
About the reviewer — Devon Jorge, MSW, RSW, Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist — Devon is Clinical Director at Trillium Counselling and a Registered Social Worker authorized to perform the controlled act of psychotherapy. She reviews Trillium’s educational articles to keep them accurate, responsible, and aligned with current Ontario legislation and College standards. Last reviewed September 2026.
About this article — This article is intended for general education about mental health and the therapy process. It is not a substitute for professional diagnosis, treatment, or individualized mental health advice. If you have concerns about your mental health, please speak with a qualified health professional or contact local crisis services in an emergency.